Uranus and Your Anus
By Nick Delonas
I think it's time to cut the crap and ask some hard questions about what's really going on here. Take, for example, the third largest of the gas giants hiding in the darkness of space. That gas giant, Uranus, contains hydrogen, water, ammonia, and methane. Now get this, with flatulence, you experience the very same hydrogen, water, ammonia and methane at YOUR anus, which also hides in darkness. Could this be mere coincidence? Might there be an actual connection between your anus and Uranus? And if there is some connection, just how important is the bean industry to national security? Makes me wonder what the government isn't telling us.